A Fresh Perspective on Intimacy: The Erotic Blueprints

By Christine Sagan, MSN, APRN, FNP-BC

A common concern shared in the clinic is a change in intimacy, connection, or libido. These challenges can feel frustrating, isolating, or even overwhelming—but they are also very normal. Often, couples simply don’t realize that desire shows up differently for different people. There are many areas to explore in this arena. 

This is where the work of somatic sexologist Jaiya offers a refreshing new lens. She created the Erotic Blueprints, a framework that explains five different ways people experience arousal and intimacy. Think of them as “love languages for sexuality.”

The Five Erotic Blueprints

• Energetic – Turned on by space, anticipation, subtle energy, and teasing.

• Sensual – Aroused through the senses: touch, smell, music, taste, and environment.

• Sexual – Clear, direct, and physical—nudity and orgasm are central.

• Kinky – Excited by taboo, psychological play, or exploring power dynamics.

• Shapeshifter – Drawn to all of the above, craving variety and expansion.

Why This Matters

Understanding your Erotic Blueprint can relieve pressure and open up conversations. Instead of assuming something is “wrong” with you or your partner, it reframes the issue: you may simply be speaking different “languages of turn-on.” With awareness comes compassion, playfulness, and new ways to connect.

Bringing This Into Your Life

• Get curious about how you respond to touch, energy, and environment.

• Communicate openly with your partner about what excites and nourishes you.

• Experiment with exploring other blueprints to expand intimacy and deepen connection.

A Next Step

If this perspective resonates, consider exploring Jaiya’s book The Erotic Blueprints for a deeper dive into each type, real-life stories, and practical tools. It’s an empowering resource for anyone looking to rekindle desire, create lasting intimacy, and feel more at home in their own body.